How men choose women?

Honestly, I don’t know.

But I’m curious.

If anybody knows, please tell me. Or send me the link.

What I see and observe — men choose what will look good with them on public.

- pretty.

- with manners.

- smart enough. Not too much & not obviously stupid.

I’d say these are the staple. Well mannered, pretty girls who appear smart — are the ones who get married easily and quickly. They look good on any man, like a decent car, you know.

When you ask guys what actresses they like. It’s often that type of girls who fall under the same criteria — Jessica Alba type of actresses. Irina Sheik type of models.

They don’t care much for talent, intellect or character. They seem to view women as status.

Not all men, but most.

I rarely see men who like weirdo type of girls. And this is my type of men, I guess. Who find Cara Delevigne or Natalia Vodyanova or even Lady Gaga gazillion times more attractive than Irina Sheik. And nothing against Irina, she’s doesn’t appeal that much to me other than her beauty.

Is it me and my personal triggers and traumas that react to men judging women heavily based on looks. I honestly can get mad and disappointed when a guy says why would Keanu Reeves ever date an elder woman, having got that looks, money and fame.

And it was the case. Real life case. With one reader. A guy who tried to hit on me. When he said so, my heart sunk somewhere deep. I said, «too bad you don’t know the real worth of women. Besides, she’s younger». We even had a pari, whether Keanu’s girlfriend is younger and I won, so he brought me a chocolate.

That was like a gigantic, humongous red flag there.

There was another «comic» video that triggered me. A couple — man and women in late twenties, she chasing him and wanting to hold his hand and walk by, him running away from her. He’s too thin, she’s plump. She’s chasing after him, he’s running away. Then there comes an elder, supposedly wiser person, who asks what’s the matter. «Why are you running away from you wife?» The dude says, people will think she’s my mom, not wife, cause she got big after bearing five children. (!!! — that’s for my reaction). So the «wise» guy says: «you fool, why do you feed your woman. Take four more wives and feed that food to all of them evenly and each of them would be as thin as a piece of hay»…

I mean… you can’t make jokes like that… this ain’t a joke, this is mockery. And that guy did not seem Alen Delon or Jude Law the least.

I don’t know why, but I do get triggered when men disrespect women. When men judge women by their looks. When men devalue women.

Maybe it’s their way of making themselves feel better and in demand.

That’s why my heart aches when reading The Color Purple. It’s painful to not be felt a woman, to not be felt a beautiful woman, woman worthy of attention, love and care.

If you can’t love a woman, why marry? Why date? Why make her and your life miserable?

I’m sorry for demanding or expecting too much.

I did tell you about that selfie story, right. When I was sitting in a restaurant, expecting my girlfriends and taking selfies just to see whether I changed much in the last ten years, for I used an old photograph to issue my new driver’s license. And at the table in front sat a couple. Married, I’d suppose, but young. And the guy was looking at me, in a very appreciative way.

I felt disgusted by his behavior, for he was doing it to openly and vividly. And I felt so bad and sorry for her, for being with that man. I felt sad for us, women, who let us be in relationships with men that check out on other women in public places. Men who are in search for ‘inspiration’ by beautiful faces and bodies.

I’m sorry, the more I see and witness things like that the more I become disappointed in men, the more people would label me as ‘feminist’, though I never associated myself with that word.

Maybe it’s not men that are shallow and primordial nature driven, maybe it’s us — us not loving ourselves, not seeing ourselves pretty or good enough and them men reflecting this attitude.

Cause let’s admit it, there are are plenty of women who aren’t of canonic beauty, but men fall for them seriously. Maybe that’s what we are to work on — self-esteem, self-love and self-respect. To value ourselves first, to see ourselves divinely beautiful and transmit this energy to the world?

I guess, it’s worth playing this game and believing it and living it one day, just for being born woman. Every woman should see herself beautiful and carry herself with pride and dignity. Maybe then men will stop disgracing and devaluing us, and start seeing what we feel about ourselves. Just for the experiment of it?

I’m curious. What if that works like that. Making yourself believe that you are 10 out of 10, the real beauty beauty, and see how they men perceive you. I guess this game is worth playing and experiment just cause no woman deserves to be ditched, judged or disqualified. Every woman is precious, every woman is queen, every woman is goddess. Just by being born a woman.

Shall we play?!