Aging

I don’t know why, but I’m curious to see how different people age. And how people handle aging. For some it’s a tragic process, for others it’s normal, and there are few who actually enjoy aging.

I have a close friend of mine. She is thirty-eight. My childhood friend. And aging makes her sad. She feels in rush for life, in rush for ‘living out and through’ this life — wearing a red lipstick, cleavage, minis and cuts, heels and going out in evening. She feels like time is sipping away. Even the birthday invitations she sends have that negative connotation to aging. She’s also in rush for dating. As she says, she feels like she soon be out of dating market, therefore she wants to have the max of her body.

Another friend of mine. May I call him a friend? Acquaintance? Former colleague? He’s a man and he just turned thirty. I don’t remember how I felt at thirty, it seemed like another number. He’s a handsome man used to and in a way dependent on women’s attention. For him aging is likewise unpleasant, softly speaking, and frightening. With men you can see how they accept aging by the way they comb their hair. Receding hairline is a trigger point for the ones who find it hard to accept aging. Such men — men afraid of aging, afraid of losing attention and validation as alpha males, are generally curious about anti-aging agenda. They’ll do fasting, sports, gym, anything they can in terms of activity, that promises to keep them in youthful shape. It’s all good — the healthy lifestyle, I mean, but they miss on something bigger. Intangible. Besides, people desperately wanting something often get opposite effect. The most youthful appearing dudes, like Jared Leto, would say something like ‘I do no effort, maybe it’s genetics’. You just see when it’s organic like with Jared, who can easily wear trendy stuff and someone who’d look ridiculous even with plastic surgery, gym, fasting and whatevs. Desperation is obvious.

So, people who are used to looking good in their youth, who depend on and seek external validation, find it hard to age. They often resort to mechanical stuff — plastic surgery, active sports, fasting, healthy eating, just to retain their looks as much as possible — which works, but not magically.

Magic happens with people who seem not to care. Seem meaning they don’t seem desperate, they just follow their protocol. And with this rare category of people, it’s probably more about inner work, their inner perception of age and time. People would say it’s genes, but it’s more than that. They think differently, they interact with he world differently, and, importantly, they are not afraid of aging.

Often times people who weren’t considered handsome and beautiful in their youth — they age gracefully. Compensation effect. Once you ever accepted being ugly, it’s easy to accept any sign of aging. No big deal. You generally don’t make your face and appearance your primary asset. You give no fuck, but somehow, your looks start working on you.

I love it! Love this subtle, unseen law of patience and diligence. Someone who show’s up from day to day, who does something to support his or her health, who works on improving oneself and maintaining in best form, he’ll reap the fruits and will continue reaping them. Unlike the ones taking things for granted and expecting to bear abundant harvest from year to year without any significant investment.

Besides, growth and development. When someone — no matter woman or man, grows internally, spiritually, mentally, somehow, his traits start to change. Become more defined and graceful. Good virtues show on our face and body, too. Miraculously.

Why I accentuate growth and development — cause that’s how we change. We stop our physical growth and switch to inner growth, we learn and read and get wiser, see new things, experience something novel — therefore, we do change from day to day. And it’s easy for such person, seeing himself changing and evolving, to accept any external changes. It becomes part of the process, process of life.

By changing and growing, we’re still excited about life. We are excited about it’s new stages and, therefore, we don’t need to remain old versions of ourselves. And in such mindset our body reacts accordingly, smoothly transitioning from one stage to the other. Therefore, let’s be open for new adventures within each stage of life and also, keep in mind that aging is individual.